God is good. This has been a long journey. It has taken a lot of turns that I would not have expected, but God is good. I had a prophetess tell me that I should be an evangelist. That this is my true calling. I receive that... I just don't know what to do with that. Music plays in my spirit constantly. I wake up every morning with a new melody playing. I don't always put them down (I will change that now), but they are always there. I see images in the music I hear. I see the videos of the songs I write in my head. Music moves me. Music shapes me. My mother told me its been that way since I was in my crib. Music was the only thing that kept me quiet, so she kept the radio on my crib. If I heard a song I didn't like I would knock the radio off. And then cry for her to put it back. God did this. I was born with this. The thought of me standing in front of a church preaching doesn't appeal to me. Don't get me wrong, I will speak a word that God lays on me. I have and will always do that. I can't NOT say what he places in my spirit. I imagine my head would explode if I tried to hold that in. If that's what she meant, I'm all in. That's just what I am. Regardless, I submit myself to be whatever God wants me to be. I'm his child and he knows what's best for me. As much hell as has surrounded me all of my life, I haven't been touched by any of it. I grew up in chaos, but my life wasn't chaotic. It was like my life was a hurricane, but I've spent my whole existence living in the eye - watching in horror as everything around me spun, crashed and burned. But I just witnessed it. I just sat there with Jesus as the demons of hell would continually growl and hiss at me. But they couldn't touch me. I occasionally strayed and got bitten by one or more of them, but they couldn't devour me. I'm still here. I'm still giving God the glory! God is Good! I had a Pastor who didn't like me personally, but couldn't deny the anointing on my gift. The Bible says your gift will make room for you - Prov.18:16 "A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men." And the gift that God has given me is making room for me. But not because of me... because God has a mission... a plan?
What is the proper word... God has an objective in moving me from Glory to Glory. He KNOWS I will tell the WORLD it was HIM. I bore with people calling me a genius. I HONESTLY am only trying to replay what I hear in my spirit. And sometimes I don't even get close! What I heard and what I played are similar, but no where near as majestic as it could be if I were a better musician. And maybe that's the point... God has to be doing this because I don't have the skill. I can play. And what usually happens is I learn to play what God gave me and people think I'm some master. Its all God. I'm spending most of the time trying to keep up. All I can say is God is Good! He gave me a song a while ago. The first effort was awful. I got with a friend that I often work with and God blew the track up. The piece was "Love Makes You Real" It was recently reviewed by @LOV3RZ Worldwide magazine and they absolutely loved the track. Again... God doing his thing. 
So here we go again. This journey will continue as long God wants. I will do what God wants. I will go where God wants. My objective now is to be what he wants me to be. Musician, Evangelist... I really don't care. I guess that since he's placed music in my very cells and it seems to be growing my children as well - I will keep doing what I'm doing until he says otherwise. God bless you all. Thank you for sticking with me on this journey. I'll send you videos and pics from the road.
Curt
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